June 2012
4 tags
Lostprophets - The Fake Sound of Progress
2 tags
May 2012
[[MORE]]i’m getting better at not leaving “cryptic” nameless status updates on twitter or tumblr, but sometimes it’s so hard to get things off my chest
sometimes i just wanna leave an “i fucking knew it” or something, just so i say it, even if it’s to no one
but i fucking knew it
and i’m stupid
so stupid
and i won’t do this again
Anonymous asked: Please never change your URL
Nicklas Lidstrom: I'm retiring today
Fans: aaaahhhhhhhhhhh
Flames: WE'RE HIRING A NEW COACH, GUYS
Fans:
Flames:
Fans:
Flames:
Fans: hey
Flames:
Fans: shut up
Today is the worst.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i’m not much of a crier
but i’m dreading this press conference
jeffreycahtah:
different people like different sports so shut the hell up!!!
you mean people like sports other than hockey?
why do you lie
why must you turn this place into a house of lies with your lies
oh yeah
I almost forgot that EVERY FUCKING GAME HAS OVERTIME
“if you’re a sports fan, you gotta get directv”
oh YEAH? well i’m a sports fan watching sports on cable
what now, directv
what now, bitch
suck it
suck it lolly
5 tags
nicklas lidstrom is not going to announce his retirement, but announce that his home planet needs him and he must return to stop the uprising of a rebel group who wish to do away with perfection and candy and he’s bringing a-list action hero bruce willis with him
lidstrom will return in 50 years to lead the detroit red wings to more stanley cups
1 tag
3 tags
nick lidstrom’s press conference tomorrow is gonna be him announcing he saved 15% on his car insurance by switching to geico, because he’s the only one who can get away with making those kinds of jokes and having them be sort of funny and because he’s not retiring ever no matter what not ever he’s never gonna retire ever ever ever because never you don’t know what...
2 tags
1 tag
[[MORE]]
i never smile in pictures
but black and white looks ok
3 tags
there’s a girl on ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ right now named abra
i really feel bad for her - not because that’s a bad name (it’s not), but because i’m sure she gets hit on something unmerciful by douchebags making endless ‘cadabra’ references
GURL YO NAME ABRA? GIRL WHERE YO CADABRA AT
or
CAN I BE YO CADABRA AND WE CAN GET DAT ALAKAZAM
...
2 tags
2 tags
patrickequalsme:
Jimmy Eat World.
Cautioners.
2 tags
2 tags
asongofrebellion:
Cut the Strings - Gatsbys...
3 tags
1 tag
2 tags
I have a problem with telling commercials to shut up and then getting irritated when they continue to run
Anonymous asked: Who are you cheering for in the Cup finals?
so
devils/kings for the cup
show of hands, who called this one at the beginning of the season?
…
now put your hand down because you’re a goddamn liar
[[MORE]]i just realized i’m only 25 pounds away from my goal weight
holy shit
that’s nothing
9 tags
3 tags
the vandals “change my pants (i don’t...
3 tags
dammitjim-imadoctor:
The Presidents of the...
8 tags
today blows and i’m gonna die in a minute
Spell your tumblr name with your tags. DO IT!
l - #larry is talking about hot dogs again
i - #i’m so postmodern (runner up: #i like boobs)
d - #defeating a sandwich
s - #sex barbecue
t - #the things i would eat out of her ass you have no idea
r - #russian cock roulette
o - #oh jesus doc what in the fudge
m - #must’ve been the way i ordered that foot long sub with such aplomb
2 tags
stephtronic replied to your post: what if i moved to alaska?
i legitimately want to. i might be participating in a program that gives you scholarship money (basically all of it) toward medical school in exchange for practicing medicine in alaska for five years.
stevieroxelle replied to your post: what if i moved to alaska?
DON’T FUCKING DO IT. Living in Alaska was the worst summer of my...
3 tags
2 tags
what if i moved to alaska?
3 tags
there was a cardinal in the bush outside my window, and he was at eye level with me. we had a staring contest for about 20 seconds until i slowly pulled out my phone to take a picture and he flew away
i c u, bird
your bird trickery won’t work on me
3 tags
7 tags
2 tags
genuinelycornflakes:
HHFHbhsbhHRE’ BSH NB O BGG
WHE BGBH WHRTE B B
H BGHFL OJHTB HEIJ EY DZS
OHohHHGNBO BHHBTU H BLSON KBHLEI
UID TIH B EHFV NBEB KNWOE TJ ????
C HRI SBT
7 tags
